Spoiler alert: Yes, Dr. Alfie actually got his blood drawn, and no, he didn’t pass out.
In this week’s episode of Meet the Penis, we’re continuing our Men’s Health Month series with something every guy needs but most of us conveniently forget to schedule: good ol’ fashioned blood work. Think of it as checking under the hood,except instead of your car, it’s you.
Because let’s be honest, most of us spend more time getting our tires rotated than checking our testosterone levels. That changes today with a simple blood test.
Dr. Alfie Practices What He Preaches
After years of talking about testosterone optimization, healthy living, and the magic of hydration, Dr. Alfie decided it was time to stop being that guy–you know, the one who talks a big game but avoids the needle like it’s a student loan.
So, he rolled up his sleeve, called in the best phlebotomist in the business (shoutout to Iris), and got poked on camera for all of YouTube to see.
And here’s the kicker: the blood labs took less than 5 minutes. No drama, no trauma, no ice packs required.
Why a Blood Panel is Your Body’s True Check Engine Light
We all love analogies, so here’s one for you gearheads: You wouldn’t drive 10,000 miles without an oil change, right? So why go years without checking what’s flowing through your arteries?
At Perito Clinic in Miami / Coral Gables, we offer a complete Men’s Health Panel—a comprehensive blood test that gives you a snapshot of your hormonal health, metabolic function, and potential red flags. Think of this blood work as your biological dashboard, complete with:
- Total & Free Testosterone
- Estradiol, SHBG, & Thyroid Function
- PSA (for prostate health)
- Lipid Panel (because heart attacks are lame)
- Glucose, Vitamin D, and more
We also have Women’s Health Panels, because let’s not pretend hormones are a boys-only club.
“I Have Health Insurance, I Just Don’t Use It”
We all know that guy—he pays $400 per month for a “Platinum Supreme Deluxe” health plan and hasn’t had a blood test since Obama’s first term.
Health insurance is like a gym membership. It only works if you actually go. A simple blood draw is one of the smartest, easiest, and most preventative things you can do for yourself. It’s not just about testosterone—it’s about early detection for diabetes, cancer, prostate issues, thyroid disorders, and more.
Book your Men’s Health Panel at Perito Clinic Miami at (833) 213-6606.
You Can’t Optimize What You Don’t Measure
Dr. Alfie says it best:
“You want to feel better, live longer, and look good doing it?
Step one is figuring out what’s going on inside that body of yours.”
It’s not about chasing perfection. It’s about having a clear baseline so we can guide you toward the healthiest, strongest, and most energized version of yourself.
Final Thoughts (and One Last Needle Joke)
If you’ve been putting this off, we get it. Blood draws aren’t fun. But neither is low energy, bad sleep, or undiagnosed disease.
So let MTP 105 be your wake-up call. If Dr. Alfie can do it—with cameras rolling and a coconut drink nearby—so can you. Book your Men’s or Women’s Health Panel today at PeritoClinic.com. We’ll be your pit crew. You just have to show up.